The Best of The Net

Part V

This book contains at time strong language! 

It may not be politically right!

Please read on your own risk!

If you like humor of all kinds, this book is for you.

 

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Your free sample:

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?


Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've  
got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a  
stupid burned out bulb?


Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's  
not up to code.


Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!


Rottweiler: Make me.


Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the  
dark.


Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb!  
Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please,  
please!


German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people  
from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just  
one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take  
advantage of the situation.


Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off  
the walls and furniture.


Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a  
light bulb!


Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in  
the dark.


Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking  
light bulb."


Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a  
little circle...


Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do  
it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

 How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?


 Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the  
 real question is:
How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner,  
and a massage?"
 ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS  
 HAVE STAFF!
 WHY GOD MADE PETS
 They help out around the house...